Do you want to resuscitate?

After talking to my doctor, I was in shock. I couldn’t speak. I started crying and knew this wasn’t good. I took a moment, collected myself, got to my car and called Sean. All I could say between tears was that he needed to find someone to watch Via and come be with me now. It was about 5:30pm on Thursday, January 12th. 

This must be a dream? I knew this wasn’t a good situation but I didn’t think I was actually in labor. Looking back on it; I was already in denial. I thought, maybe I’ll just be monitored overnight like I was with Via…then, I’ll go home and everything will be okay. 

Labor and delivery knew I was coming. I got into the room and within minutes the nurse and doctor walked in. She told me that she had talked to my doctor and walked me through the tests she wanted to do. I could tell she was trying to keep me calm but knew the seriousness of my situation. She stayed calm and kind the entire time. She started her exam, was looking inside me, and told me that she could see a bag of water but that it hadn’t broken and didn’t appear to be leaking. She ran all of the “if you’re in labor” tests, but was very careful as to not break my water. This is where everything started to get blurry. Sean, the NICU doctor and the ultrasound tech all arrived. If you deliver at 24 weeks in Oregon the first question they ask you is…

Do you want to resuscitate?

This was the first question in a long line of horrifying questions we had to answer. If our answer was “yes,” then we needed to be transferred to a different hospital as the Bend NICU didn’t have beds or staff for two premature babies. We learned quickly that 24 weeks is the first day that they even ask you that question, whereas anytime before 24 weeks, that’s just not an option as the babies won’t make it. The next question then came, “do you know what you’re having?”

Our response, “No, we were planning on waiting ... .why?”

The NICU doctor then explained that girls have a higher chance of survival. As he continued to spout off a ton of information the ultrasound tech was trying to get specific details for each baby - weight, length, gender.  I don’t believe that the results of those details would have mattered but when we heard they were both girls, weighed over 1lb each and had good length, we looked at each other and without saying words we said to the doctor that we’d like to resuscitate and have our girls. We believed in the fight of our girls. 

From here, time sped up. I was given a steroid shot (which helps their lungs when they come out before 28 weeks) and they asked us if we’d like to be transferred to Eugene or Portland. They also gave me an IV that is supposed to help reduce the likelihood that I’d go into labor in the next 48 hours. Our NICU doctor hinted that we should go to Eugene given their NICU staff and reputation, it was slightly closer and I don’t like Portland so we decided on Eugene.  I was going to be rushed to the Bend Airport, put in a Helicopter and flown off to Eugene as soon as possible. When it came down to be transported, weather was questionable for Helicopter flight so I was ushered into a small plane and flown to Eugene. Sean and I decided we’d probably need a car so he was going to drive and meet me there (also, stopping back at home to grab clothes and essentials, as we didn’t know what was in store). Sean left slightly before the flight crew arrived to get a head start. He was swift and probably drove faster than he should have to meet me on the other side of the Cascades. The flight wasn’t as worrisome as I expected - I was focused on staying calm and getting to Eugene to make sure my baby girls were okay. 

Again, the hospital was expecting me. I was brought to a room immediately and maybe a minute after the flight crew left me, Sean walked in. It was around 9:30 pm on Thursday…only 4 hours after I got the news to head to labor and delivery in Bend. 

The nurses in Eugene said it was protocol for both hospitals to put an IV in so now I had one in each arm. The doctor came in shortly after and did her own checks to validate what she was told from the doctors back in Bend. She also noticed the bag of water and was very straightforward. She told me that my girls could come at any moment and felt it would happen really fast. Because of their size she said I could potentially have baby A vaginally and then we’d have to c-section baby B because she was breech and a baby that size, this early, would most likely not survive being delivered breech.  Being that I had a c-section with Via, I was not about to deliver one of our girls vaginally and then go through an emergency c-section with the other. This was probably the number one thing on my mind for the next few hours. Then, the NICU doctor came in to talk to us and let us know the plan for when the babies came. He felt really good about their predicted weight and that they were girls. We were hopeful. It was now a really uncomfortable waiting game. I couldn’t sleep as my contractions were continuing (not painful, but definitely consistent) and the nurses were continuously coming into the room to change my fluids and ensure they had the babies on the monitor. This charade continued until Friday morning. 

The doctor who I had seen the previous night came in to let me know they were doing a shift change and the new doctor would be in to see me shortly. At 8:00 AM on Friday morning a giant man (the doctor) came to introduce himself and do an ultrasound. He was looking at the girls and as he was looking at Baby A, I had a contraction that pushed her head into the birth canal. We could all see it on the monitor. That is when I knew I didn’t have time and that the girls were coming now. The doctor, as calm as can be, says, “Okay, we’re going to go have these babies. I’m going to go get the OR ready and I’ll see you soon.”