Thank you to our family and friends, seriously

When we knew we were heading to Eugene in order to most likely have our girls - my parents booked their flights to be in Bend the next morning. They would fly in to stay with Via for as long as we needed. Luckily, we have an incredible friend group in town. Sean reached out to people as soon as I called him. He dropped Via off with friends until Uncle Jesse, Sean’s brother, could pick her up to have a sleepover after he finished work. I needed Sean immediately and the rate at which people responded to help was amazing.

My dad stayed the whole first week and my mom stayed for a little more than two. Then my brother and his fiance stayed the third week along with other visitors coming to overlap visits throughout. Everyone helped out in all ways. They cooked, cleaned, did laundry and other household chores, cried with us, hugged us, drank with us, and everything else that you could think of. 

As incredible as it was to have people at our home with us constantly, we also have an unbelievable community of local friends. They brought home cooked food, had us over for dinner, came over to just sit and drink, and basically be anything and everything we could have needed or wanted.

I needed all of this and felt so thankful to have the people in our lives who just acted. The help and support allowed Sean and I to start to grieve. We didn’t have to think about eating, cooking, cleaning, and everyone helped with Via but allowed us to step in when we wanted/needed (and we needed a lot of Via snuggles).

I feel so lucky to have such incredible people in our lives and to raise our kids with. The friends and family who don’t live close sent food and gift cards to help take one thing off our plates, and man it was helpful to not have to think or cook. Other people sent flowers and donated trees for our girls (I think that’s a Jewish thing) so there are well over a hundred trees now being planted in our girls’ names. I am writing about all of this because I was never really able to thank anyone. At the time I could barely breathe let alone thank someone. I know that everyone who sent something or did something to help, in no way needed or expected a thank you but I just want to let everyone know how much it truly meant.  I don’t think there’s any such thing as too much love and Sean and I were lucky to have as much love as we did. In a time where you don’t have the full capacity to even be half a human, whether you think you need it or not, love from others is helpful and so appreciated. Honestly, it likely kept us going more than we know and our people are simply the best. 

I felt and still feel that the people in our lives truly care about us and our family.  It is a journey to heal from such a massive tragedy and I have no idea when or if it is something you ever fully heal from. That being said, I have more good days than not and I don’t want people to be afraid to ask about our girls, what happened, how we’re doing and what we’re planning. If you have a question about what happened, or about how we are dealing/feeling now, I want and encourage you to ask. I don’t want anyone to ever feel like they are watching what they say or are afraid to make us sad. The emotions, whether they are happy or sad, are good and healing and talking to us about the girls or anything within the realm of our experience just shows you care. 

Please continue to support us and let our babies stay in your hearts!  

I want people to know that this is something that happened to us but isn’t something that defines us. This awful experience is just now a part of our makeup and woven into who we are as a couple, as parents and as individuals. It is a massive reminder on how short and valuable life is so make sure you’re living it.